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Category: Sub Category: Short Stories |
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Excerpt three. "The Bridge." (A Dark Comedy) by R.Dale Johnson
She turned away from him and said. “Why don’t you go home and let me get on with it?”
“Okay. But I thought maybe I could do it for you.”
“Are you crazy?” What good would it do me for you to jump off the bridge?” She almost yelled at him.
“No, noo!” He laughed. “ I mean. I could do you. You know. throw you off. That way, you wouldn’t be commiting suicide and might end up in Heaven. If you say your prayers?”
“Are you really nuts or just some kind of pervert looking for a cheap thrill?” She asked.
“No, it’s what I do. Uh...It’s my business.” He lied. “I bump people off for money.”
The girl was quiet for a while as if thinking. Finally she said. “I don’t see any difference between my jumping and my letting you throw me off. It’s still the same thing.”
“Um...Maybe you’re right.” He said. “But if you put up a fight you might get in on a technicallity. By the way, do you have any money on you?”
“What?” She yelled. “Are you planning on robbing me before you throw me in the river or fish me out afterwards?”
“No!” I usually get paid for my services. Sometimes thousands of dollars.”
She stared at him for a long time, her lips blue and trembling from the cold. “I’ve got twenty dollars in the back pocket of my jeans. Will that do for a charity case?”
“It’ll do.” He said. “ Give me the money.”
“Not yet. I don’t know about you. You might just be bull-shitting me for twenty bucks.”
He thought for a minute then said. “You remember that alderman that fell off the seveth floor balcony last week? That was one of my jobs.”
“You’re nuts. That was an accident. I read in the paper that he was drunk when he fell.”
“Just shows how good I am.” He snickered.
She was silent again. Finally she spoke. “Okay but I want to know how you plan to do it.”
“Well, you climb over here”. He motioned with his hands. “And while you’re saying your prayers I’ll give you a little sock on the chin. You’ll never feel a thing and when you wake up you’ll be in paradise”
“Won’t that hurt?’” She wimpered.
“Naw! I’m a professional. Done it dozens of times and never had a complaint.”
“I’m still not sure but maybe it’s worth the chance.” She said.
“Give me the money first.”
She hesitated, then reached into the back pocket of her pants. She extended her hand toward him. He had to stretch to reach the crumpled twenty dollar bill. His hand touched hers. It was ice cold and shaking. He stuffed the bill in his coat pocket and said. “Come on now. I don’t have all night.”
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